Sometimes it's really hard being a BYU fan.

So are you ready to get pissed off? I am. I almost always am. So I’m chatting with my buddy Leroy earlier today about the upcoming BYU, UCLA football game. Are we nervous after last week’s subpar performance (at least on defense)? Can we trust this team to rise to the occasion? Typical banter among fans. He then sent me a link of the following message board from a misguided BYU fan.

This is a post from “Broncoite” at cougarboard.com under the heading “A righteous team is a successful team.” That right there is enough to piss me off.

"BYU carries the name of the Church where ever it goes, if the players live good lives and they work hard they will be blessed and yes those blessing can include winning football games. Why wouldn't the Lord care? Of course he cares, he cares about everything we do and all the aspects of our lives, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matt 6:3 Have any of you wondered why we are having success, it's because Bronco's got his priorities straight #1 Spirit, remember God and do his will #2 Tradition, remember what is to be a member of this fraternity, this band of brothers and live up to the expectation. Keep the traditional alive through your actions now. #3 Honor, Honor God, your teammates and the community by doing what’s expected, live worthy, do your duty, and keep your promises.

"Why do you shirk from these facets of the program, why are we afraid to let the world know what we stand for. Bronco is teaching those young men something that will bring them success in all aspects of their lives. When we are righteous, we are successful, and it so happens they are playing football right now, so they should expect to be blessed in their endeavors. So their are those that will mock and scorn, their are those that will say it's inappropriate, I say lets show the world what can be accomplished when you put God first! The difference between me and a Yewt, a Yewt doesn’t want to acknowledge His hand in all of this, I love that God cares enough about His children to bless them, even if it’s winning a football game. The Yewts or any team for that matter can find similar success, if they put God first."

You may not be able to tell from the casual profanity on this blog, but I do consider myself a devout Mormon. And as such, my reaction to this unwise misrepresentation of my cherished beliefs is as follows: Shut the hell up! Just shut up. Please Broncoite, do not speak anymore. Do not pretend to represent what I believe. Come down from your Rameumtum, you self righteous Zoramite. Righteousness does not equate with success. It doesn’t. And believing that, and piously preaching that leads to all kinds of serious problems, you unprofitable servant. There are a lot of incredibly valiant failures out there and a lot more successful assholes.

If the motives for your perceived righteousness are to experience some superficial level of “success” than you are missing the mark in a big way. I do believe that we are blessed in many ways for obedience to God’s law. But when you then treat righteousness like a stock investment, you’re missing the whole point. You don’t pay tithing so God will owe you; you pay it because you realize you owe God.

Brocoite (Is that like Nephite? Cute), did you honestly walk away from Saturday’s win over Washington thinking “Of course Jorgensen blocked the PAT, he’s living a righteous life. On that basis alone, he deserves to win and since I live a righteous life, I deserve to have a winning football team.”? Was that really your thought process? If that is the case, then one can assume the most successful college football programs must be the most righteous? Right? And we all know that players from USC don’t bang the hell out of every hot chick on that campus. Yeah, no fornication going on there at all.

What irritates me about your posting, Broncoite, is the sanctimonious way in which you declare it. You have the balls to set yourself up as a martyr by acknowledging others will disagree with your crap. “they will mock and scorn us” Dude, they are not the Large and Spacious Building. They are regular people who are alienated by your insufferably smug attitude. "the Yewt doesn’t want to acknowledge His (God's) hand in all of this (winning)" Really? That's really what you believe? Broncoite, you are an ass.

The biggest problem I have with the Broncoites of the world is that they screw everything up for the rest of us. Like the Texas Polygamists, they inaccurately represent me as a proud Mormon and for that matter a BYU fan. I resent that. When I hear Ute fans rip on BYU fans and why they hate them so much, I often find myself in agreement with them.

One more thing, Broncoite. "Their", "they’re" and "there" are all three separate words that have specific meanings. It’s not hard to use the correct word in the correct context. If you’re not sure which is which, ask any third grader. They’ll be happy to tell you.

Of course, there (their?) is a possibility that this guy is pulling one over on me. It could be a seriously so blessed kind of satire. If it is, then I'm a sucker. Either way, it illustrates an attitude that is entirely too prevalent within the LDS church (including many Ute fans) and my rant still applies.