Friday, August 20, 2010

I Don't Care If It Is A Chick Flick Starring Drew Barimore . . .

. . . I'm still looking forward to this movie.

Why would I admit anticipating this movie? Do I love the Mac PC commercials so much that Justin Long has become a box office draw for me? No. In fact it looks like they finally retired those damn things. But I do genuinely like Long even if Die Hard 7 was beyond lame.

Is it because I finally overdosed on rehashing Action Movies from the 80's and need a nice long chunk of estrogen to compensate for my brain turning to an explosion/car chase/one liner induced mush? Perhaps. As per my previous post, I can say I have officially scratched that itch for another decade.

Is it because I hold a secret fondness for dopey, "it all worked out in the end" kind of Romantic Comedies springing from my Mo Syzlak level of desperate loneliness? No. Seriously, the answer to that is no. But just because I don't get a lady boner for "Eat, Pray, Love" doesn't mean I have any sort of predetermined animosity toward a well told story that revolves around the romantic relationship between two people that may or may not include effective comic relief. (I really hate the term Romantic Comedy, so I go out of my way not to say it.) I would never accuse it of being a great movie but I dare you to watch "When Harry Met Sally" and not feel good. Go ahead. Try it. You can't do it. And admitting that doesn't make you an easily manipulated, emotionally needy, McConaughey jock sniffing sap. It just means that you were entertained by a perfectly fine movie. Good for you.

Do I anticipate this movie because of a previously stated declaration that Kelly Bundy should be required to appear in every single movie produced? Yes. But that's not the main cause for my anticipation. But it's along the same line.

The real reason that I, a culturally sophisticated, adult, heterosexual man am looking forward to the release of "Going the Distance" is a very simple two word answer. Charlie Kelly. Or Charlie Day, depending upon which reality you choose to live in. (To be clear, Charlie Kelly is the character, Charlie Day is the actor.)


"Yeeeaahhh, but I am who I am."

Charlie Kelly of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" is the funniest, most entertaining character currently on television. Better than Jack Donaghy, Dwight, Homer*, Murry, Funkhauser, Stewie, Abed, Kenneth and the fat, gay guy on Modern Family. Charlie wins. And it's not even close.

(You may have to register with Hulu to be able to view some of these clips. But seriously, do it. This is very good way to kill an hour at work. And since these links will probably be dead in a weak, take advantage.)

When you consider the waitress stalking, the long johns, the glue sniffing, sharing a fold out sofa with Frank, his apartment, the eating of the cat food, his various costumes, Day Man, Night Man, The Night Man Cometh, his illiteracy, his alcoholism, his dental hygiene, Kitten Mittens, Pepe Silvia, gun fever, his Ali Baba sword, the McPoyle feud, Green Man, his religious enlightenment, his effortless charm, his eagerness to please, dancing to Alphaville, the duster, his fits of rage, the fact that he's never eaten a pear, his love of Peter Ninkumpoop and Garbage Pale Kids, then the crown goes to Charlie. Especially when you take into account that "Sunny" has significantly dipped in quality over the last two years or so and yet Charlie remains on top of his game. You might have to endure a slightly obnoxious Dee/Mac/Frank storyline but Charlie always comes through with the goods.

So any movie that has even a single minute of Charlie in it deserves my most eager of anticipations. In fact, I say we mobilize. Let's make this the cause of our generation. Get Charlie in more movies! Let's circulate petitions, force legislation, storm the offices of CNN and Fox News demanding that our voices be heard! We want more Charlie! We want more Charlie! Go ahead. Chant along.

Chanting is fun.

*To clear, Homer Simpson is without question the funniest TV character of all time. But I am comparing the last five years of Charlie to the last five years of Homer. And even though This Simpsons have been very strong over the last few seasons, Charlie has the edge.