Where I Jinx Another Movie

A few months ago I posted a trailer to the movie "Public Enemies" while stating my hope for another "Heat". I should have know better. The second I publicly expressed a very high expectation of a movie, I immediately set up the disappointment. Not that "Public Enemies" was a bad movie. But it wasn't nearly as good as I was hoping. But my high expectations made the mediocrity feel worse than it really was.

This is also precisely why I refuse to acknowledge any possibility of BYU beating Oklahoma in a month. I just can't. (I know. There really isn't a possibility to acknowledge.)

Well, here I go again. Check out this trailer for Terry Gilliam's new movie "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus".



Here you have shitballs crazy Terry Gilliam ("Twelve Monkeys", "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen", "Brazil" and "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas") writing and directing a movie featuring a traveling freak show (I think), Tom Waits as the devil (Hell yeah!), a dead Heath Leger in a wacky long nosed orgy mask,(He's already nominated for the best supporting actor Oscar. You heard it here first.), at least one midget (And he's wearing a top hat! Evey midget on earth should wear a top hat. At all times! Giant, three foot tall top hats.), Johnny Depp (if it's a weird looking movie he is contractually obligated to appear at least once) and some freaky deaky Candyland looking scenery.

By the way, do you remember the Candyland board? Weren't the illustrations on that thing creepy as hell? How can something so innocent feel so evil? You can just tell that Lord Licorice was stealing children from the town's people and broiling them alive. Maybe that's why licorice is so disgusting. It's made out dead, broiled children.

I'm usually not a big fan of the wacky looking, wonderland fantasy movies. I never saw "Pan's Labyrinth". "What Dreams May Come" was pretty crappy. In that "Robin Williams is terrible in every movie he's ever been in with the exceptions of 'Good Will Hunting' and 'Good Morning, Vietnam'" kind of way. I still have nightmares from seeing "The Dark Crystal" as a kid. And Terry Gilliam is not infallible. Sure he directed "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". He plays the part of Patsy. But he also did "Brothers Grimm". Which totally sucked.

But it's been a terrible summer for movies. Even worse than last year. "Star Trek". That's it. The only good movie all summer. I liked "The Hurt Locker" as well. But I'm needing this one to wash out the "Transformers" taste in my mouth.

Come on "Imaginarium of Whatever the Hell It Was Called". Be really good!

Please.