Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Good Reason To Hate Sheryl Crow

There are many reasons to hate Sheryl Crow. But this week I discovered a new one. But let me first run through the obvious reasons for disliking her.

Over the last fifteen years, her music has consistently achieved a Hootie and the Blowfish level of bland crappiness. And yet somehow she has remained relevant. Strange. Specifically, there is the musical abortion that is her rendition of a certain GNR song. I don't want to mention the title for fear that her version may pop into your head. Here's the real one, to fight off any possibility of that happening.

She is quite vocal and completely retarded in her political views. But what celebrity isn't? She has a blow me/bight me face if ever there was one. I still can't decide if I think she's hot or not. She's in her forties, so you have to give her a break. But there's something weird going on with her jaw or her lips or nose or something. I can't put my finger on it. It's confusing. And yes, being confused as to my level of attraction is enough to make me dislike her.

But here is my newest and possibly most irrational reason for hating Sheryl Crow.

Over the weekend, I went to Havasupai in Arizona with some friends. It was an absolutely fantastic trip. It is located near the Grand Canyon on an Indian Reservation. There is a spring fed river that roars down a steep canyon in the middle of the desert and creates massive waterfalls of stunning blue water. It looks like what every resort in Las Vegas is trying to recreate. Here are a few pictures to get an idea. Many of these pictures were taken by Justin and Kris.

You'll note that most of these pictures feature myself and others jumping off or through or into waterfalls. Seriously, it's worth it to enlarge them and see the tiny people crawling around the massive gushing water. Well, sometime early in the trip my spongy, predictable brain made the connection between cannonballing off a gorgeous waterfall in an oasis paradise and that damn video from the Sheryl Crow song that came out years ago. The "soak up the sun" one. At some point in the video, people jump off a waterfall. So what happens? All damn weekend long, I'm singing Sheryl Crow.

Not cool.

In fact, I didn't even allow myself to sing it out loud in an attempt to give it to someone else. It was too embarrassing. So I hid my shame. As a result, it's been almost a week and I'm still kicking that stupid song around in my head.

So I hate Sheryl Crow for interloping on my trip to Havasupai. I didn't invite you and your lame music, Sheryl. So get the hell out of here.

Some more pictures. Seriously, this is an amazing place.


Chris M. G said...

Dammit Brian, now that song is stuck in my head. And I'm at work, I don't even have to consolation of being somewhere cool to cancel it out.

Heath said...

I'll never forgive her for blaspheming the name of Steve Mcqueen. And the fact that she says she only uses one square of toilet paper to wipe #2 is bullshit... I need proof.

Mykol said...

Why oh why did you have to say, "soak up the sun'! It's now stuck in my head for life. I share your distaste so thanks a lot! I got on have a good laugh and wish you a fun weekend and look what you do to me. NOT COOL! I hope her jaw and lips haunt your dreams all weekend long! ps, have fun and don't kill my husband this weekend. That would leave me with loads of school debt!

BusterBluth52 said...


Homer will not die by my hands this weekend. That I can promise you. But I can't speak for Steve. Although Ram is just as likely to kill him. It's a coin toss, really.