A Few Photos From the Weekend

I went to the San Rafael Swell over the weekend and ticked another slot canyon off my list. Baptist Draw and Upper Chute Canyon were fantastic. Narrow, dark and a little spooky at times. These canyons are located in Middle-of-Frigging-Nowhere, Utah in a place known as Sinbad Country. I of course wore a windbreaker track suit the whole trip to pay proper tribute to the great and mighty comic. It's the very least I could do.

It was a pretty simple Canyon with optimal conditions. The sun was warm but not hot and thankfully there was no stinky water to wade through. However, Baptist Draw is a canyon with some pretty nasty history. Just a week ago a team went down this canyon. They must have been the first people to descend this canyon in a few months because they sadly came upon the body of a deceased woman. She was alone with no gear. Probably a lone hiker that just got lost. I’m glad they found her and not us. We had a great time but that solemn reality hung over our whole trip. As fun as these canyons are, they can kill you if you’re not prepared and exercise an abundance of caution.

And now to lighten it the hell up, let me share one of the funniest / grossest stories I have ever heard. My friend Katie just finished Med School at the U. She relayed this experience to us in the car while we were driving through Price. Katie, I hope my retelling of this does not violate your Hippocratic Oath. If this blog post winds up ruining your medical career, you have my apologies.

That said, here it is:

A massively obese woman came to the ER complaining of skin irritation and an unbearable odor. Now, we're talking fat here. Not "she has a big butt and unfortunately emphasizes it by wearing stretch paints" kind of fat. 400 pounds plus kind of fat. Katie did an exam that involved rubber gloves, a pen light, several tongue depressors and dozens of bottomless folds of doughy, flabby skin. Talk about a slot canyon! (Rim shot!) After navigating her way across vast trenches of flesh, Katie discovered lodged deep in a sweaty crevasse several rancid Chips A'hoy cookies. The cookies had been there long enough to have rotted the woman's skin. Upon discovery, the patient sheepishly admitted, "Sometimes my boyfriend and I like to play hide and seek and I guess I just forgot about those."

Aren't you glad you checked this blog today? Now you'll be cursed with the image of the stinky fat woman and her rotten sex cookies for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

Shaky Cam view of walking through the bottom of the slot. A guy slightly fatter than myself would have a bit of a problem wiggling through this bad boy.